i feel free today.
free to smile at strangers.
free to look into my own eyes in the mirror.
free to wear jeans and feel confident about my body.
free to reach out to others.
free to speak my truth.
free to love myself.
the last two months of 2007 were filled with pulling back the curtains (once again) and letting the light in where i had cowering in the darkness. i had started gambling again last year around my birthday (may). hiding from everyone - hiding from myself. going down, down, down that slippery slope, lying, beating myself up, then doing it all again - round and round and round - spinning that web tighter and more intricately than i thought i'd ever get out of.
and then God slapped me in the face - "STOP THIS, TRICIA!!!!!!!". He loves me so much, so much more than i have shown myself in the past. and so i stood back up, stepped back on this path of self love that i have fallen off of so many times before. i admitted my wrongdoing and got myself back into a GA meeting. i have gone to one meeting a week for the past 71 days.
and then at the end of December, i had an amazing conversation with my sister and step-mom that apparently i was ready to really hear. they've been doing weight watchers and they encouraged me to join. my weight has been a struggle for me all my life. it's something i've never had the courage to truly face. i've watched my sister succeed brilliantly over the past six months (she's lost 39 pounds so far and still going strong, go Kristi!!!!!) and with lots of encouragment from my stepmom (thanks, Cathy :) i decided to give it a go. i attended my first WW meeting on December 27th and as of today i have lost 10.8 pounds. i'm down one size in my clothes and feeling strong and clear.
the key for me right now is remaining mindful ~ of my thoughts and my actions.
taking everything one moment at a time.
and the more my thoughts and actions move towards loving myself, the more the universe opens up to me and brings me exactly what i need to stay centered on this path.
i feel free today to love myself and for that i am grateful.
~t
1 comment:
I'm really proud of you.
and I think you are a strong, beautiful, amazing soul.
you have so much light to share with the world.
I just wanted you to know that.
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